Introduction

This is the socialite's acquaintance speaking. The socialite is unsure as to what he should write for his debut post. Granted, it is a very challenging task. I have offered my services in this endeavor and will hereby describe the socialite to the best of my ability:

He got madd swag. He is dumb ghetto. He is everything you ever have or ever will aspire to be.

He is an inventor. If you hear a catchphrase or take part in a trend, there is a good chance that it was started by the socialite.

The socialite knows everyone.

Everyone is his "favorite person." He is everyone's favorite person. That's why his ego is so inflated. But it's inflated for good reason.

The song "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt was written about him. No homo.

The socialite, is, in fact, very beautiful. Believe it. If you don't take my word for it, then stop here and kill yourself.

The socialite is also a genius. 3.9, 'nuff said.

If you don't know the socialite, your life is probably lacking. Get to know him as soon as possible. ASAP, people.

So read The Confessions of a Socialite: The Mind of a Genius. You'll be glad you did.